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Since taking Topamax, I haven't had vertigo for days. But today I have vertigo and nausea. Joy. I guess I do have migraines or something and it's related to my cycle. I think I'm stressed. Or rather things are going better, so my body is no longer bathed in stress hormones, so it feels worse. I hope that makes sense. I'm not sure how seriously to take my symptoms.

But I feel I must take a moment to pay proper homage to my poor body, which took horrendous abuse almost a year ago. I literally couldn't walk for over six weeks after somehow pushing Little T out. I think it's a minor miracle that I've somehow emerged relatively unscathed. So I veer between not wanting to whine and wanting to make sure that I'm not in fact missing something lurking. When my OB did the ultrasound of my uterus, she mentioned there was fluid under my intestines that might be uncomfortable. Whatever the hell that means. I forgot about it until now.

I also realised that I'm not as good as I thought at identifying when I'm stressed, so I'm writing some of the less obvious signs here
  • Forgetting important things like Little T's numerous apts
  • Feeling doomed
  • Crying about "touching moments" on tv for people I don't even care about
  • Getting frustrated with Special K about things she does all the time like dawdle
This too shall pass, I keep telling myself. I get more Buddhist as I get older. The idea of impermanence. I can't hold onto anything.

And so I write. I started writing another children's picture book. I never saw myself as children's picture book writer, but I heard about this contest. I had another idea, so I'm writing another children's picture book. I'm still waiting to hear about my first one.

It turns out this publisher is also a potential publisher for my first book, so that's a good thing if the publisher I submitted the manuscript to doesn't work out. I should have submitted a query letter instead. Ahh, well. Live and learn. I feel I've already learned a lot so far. I'm sure I have a lot more to learn. What an adventure life is!


( 1 note — Leave a note )
Jan. 12th, 2006 07:54 pm (UTC)
E said...

Good Luck with the new book T!!! You will do great!!!!!!!

9/24/2005 06:51:02 PM

Thida said...

Thanks E!! :)

9/26/2005 07:20:46 PM
( 1 note — Leave a note )