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Doing more by managing more and doing less

Sorry relatively long absence again. The thing of it is I've been a lot more physically active and more centered since I got home with Hermione. I wrote more about this on blogspot, but the main thing to quote another LJ person with disabilities is I've been thinking of myself as "an okay person with a disability instead of a defective normal person" I'd say a good person actually. I hadn't realized how much time and energy I spent trying to "fake it as normal" aka do things that hurt, aggravated or added up to such without thinking about it.

I spend more time sitting down and more time walking. I spend more time saying "No, I can't do that." I've even stopped apologizing for not able to fill in useless forms. I spend more time getting my kids to do things that they should be doing like cleaning up their toys and less time either cleaning up after them or feeling bad that it causes me pain to do so. The kids seems happier. The house is cleaner.

I've spent more time thinking about how I can make things easier for me. Get a scanner, so I can in forms I have to fill out and do them on the computer. And less time worrying that I don't do enough. I'm a good manager. And we've managed as a family because I've managed people to do things for Little T so his life and therefore the entire family's life improves. Until now I've always felt somewhat bad for doing the same for myself even while knowing that when I'm doing better the family does better. And even now I'm squelching down a little voice that says I should be vaccuuming or whatever else hurts me and is what a "good housewife should do" which somehow gets conflated with "stay-at-home mom".


( 3 notes — Leave a note )
Mar. 15th, 2008 02:10 am (UTC)
Er. . . wow

not sure what to say here

but had to say something.

I'm glad you are finding this notion useful.
Mar. 15th, 2008 02:38 am (UTC)
Yes it encapsulates a change that began in Team Training. One of the first things the trainers said to speak up if there was a problem. However I was not doing so since I have been taught that is generally not sincere. As a result, I did well the first day, okay the second day, and literally ran out of energy the third day and had to sit down during one of the exercises to my huge embarrassment. I had some fundamental problems with the equipment they gave me. I was expecting them to say "Well you are clearly not fit to be here." Instead they said "Oh! We thought you were frustrated and giving up. Well let's try this. Does this work?"
Mar. 15th, 2008 02:28 am (UTC)
*HUG* Really happy for you!
( 3 notes — Leave a note )