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How you can tell if I'm your RL friend

After reading another person's LJ I just realized one way I don't make friends like Americans.

In America I find this idea that being friends requires a certain minimum amount of contact or you stop being friends. At least in England it doesn't matter if you stop seeing someone for a while due to physical distance or just being busy with things that this particular friend wouldn't be interested in. If you meet again you catch up and you're still friends. This has particularly been a problem for me being so busy with Little T's issues. And I'm not talking about ignoring requests for getting together either. I just mean we're out of contact. Somehow for most Americans this is okay if you went to the same college but otherwise it indicates some flaw in the friendship.

Anyway I just wanted to say that if I have ever called you my friend you are still my friend.  You are still my friend unless and until I tell you otherwise.  It doesn't matter if I last met you today or ten years ago.  I'll be just as happy to see you again.  And yes I have broken up with friends but it's about persistent problems and it occurs rarely and the person knows it.  And maybe that also makes me different than most Americans since I use the word 'breakup' to talk about ending friendships.  It's not the same as a romantic breakup.  But yes I do say "we are no longer friends."

Comments

( 4 notes — Leave a note )
dawnd
Jun. 8th, 2007 10:32 pm (UTC)
Maybe I'm not "American" then. ;^) Because I find you have described how I do relationships, and especially friendships. It does seem to be not necessarily the norm. I said to someone recently that I'd like to be her friend, and she replied that she tends to feel someone is not her friend if they can't spend some minimum amount of time together. I don't think I could live up to her standards. I've only seen "my best friend" on average about 4x/year in the past few years! We BOTH have scheduling issues, so it makes it hard to get together, even when we really want to. Having someone get mad at me for that, would be really frustrating.
waterowl
Jun. 9th, 2007 08:40 pm (UTC)
Well you're your own woman. :)
I'm sorry it didn't work out with this other person but it was good she could be honest about it. I find many folks just have this assumption and then are upset when I don't meet their unspoken assumptions.
whymommy
Jun. 9th, 2007 05:02 am (UTC)
I must be a little more English than I thought ;)
waterowl
Jun. 9th, 2007 08:40 pm (UTC)
You are also your own woman. :)
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