I lost ten pounds because I go to restaurants less often. At restaurants I tend to eat far more than I would normally. A restaurant typically serves bigger portions than I'd serve myself at home. At restaurants I am distracted from what I'm eating, because I'm talking. My sister tells me that restaurants pile on the fat to make their food taste better.

Now about twenty minutes after I leave a restaurant, I feel this overfull feeling that I hate. I used to like it, but now I recognise it as "I ate too much." I'm trying to teach myself to eat less at restaurants by telling myself I can take it home.

Think I could make a mint selling a book with my new diet?

Sorta following a similar principle. C just told me about a diet where you eat light virgin olive oil and sugar every day. It's supposed to reduce your appetite so you don't overeat. It's supposed to fool your body into a lower set point for your weight.

I'm now within five pounds of my prepregnancy weight. Other parts of my diet include lifting a 20lb baby and forgetting to eat from stress. I guess that wouldn't sell too well. But seriously I hope the weight loss is a result of my body gradually returning to normal after months of high stress, but I still need to do better,(Edited to clarify) not in losing weight, but in taking care of myself. My weight has never been a real issue. The few extra pounds has just been a symptom of stress and lack of exercise. I'm fortunate because in someone with worse genes or worse general food preferences (I just naturally like fruit and vegetables, can't stand soda, and I feel sick if I eat too much processed foods), it could easily be fifty pounds or more.

One of the items still on my to do list is to buy an elliptical machine. We decided to wait until we sold the house. It will close on Friday. I'll give full details about the sale then.

We reviewed Little T's goals on Tuesday. Little T exceeds expectations in all areas of review. He's made remarkable progress, considering he's been hospitalised five times during the review period (six months) Yes, Little T has goals written down on paper that the state government (Early Start) pays to have met. It's all written on our IFSP (Individual Family Service Plan), because every government program must have an acronynm.

When we completed this IFSP on 5/13/05, Little T literally just lay there. Five months of chemo had ravaged his body. He couldn't lift his head. He made no sounds. He gazed at you with bright intelligent eyes, but no-one but his family and a few doctors and nurses who knew him well had any indication he was anything other than "delayed".

A lot of the goals are devised in conjunction with the child development specialists, and like any speciality they have a syntax all their own.

For those who want to see your tax dollars at work, need to fill out an ISFP, or are just curious about Little T's progress, here are the details.
( Detailed IFSP Plan )

Little T has technically been able to hold his bottle for months, but on Tuesday he finally figured out how to tip his bottle, so he can actually drink from his bottle. Now yesterday he doesn't want me to hold his bottle anymore. Woo hoo! He can drink on his own. His OT has been pushing me to put him on a sippy cup. Now we can finally start.

Yesterday also for the first time I saw him move his left fingers in response to what his right fingers were doing. His right hand was grasping something and his left fingers also curled. Everyone is always amazed that his fingers can curl. He can now also shrug and rotate his shoulder.

Yet even as I present this latest marvel, each time various doctors tell us his arm will never gain any more function. He has missed several milestones like bending his elbow. Supposedly when he misses these milestones, it means he has missed the window of time for the neural pathways to develop. But he can't bend his elbow right now, because his tumor is in the way. He can't lift his arm much, because his arm is so heavy. Eventually he'll figure out that he can use his right arm to help his left arm.

I think the brain is more plastic than doctors realize. I just watched the "Secret Life of the Brain" where they showed how doctors can now train stroke patients to regain use of paralysed limbs. Much the problem is Little T doesn't realise what he can do and his arm is too heavy for us to easily move it for him. Once he's older and we can tell him, I believe he will fight to gain his left arm's full function. Right now he just has a dim awareness that his left arm and hand should do more. Sometimes he tugs on it and cries in frustration. He plays with his left hand sometimes. He likes to throw things with his right hand. I think he'll amaze the doctors by throwing a ball with his left hand. He's a tough little guy.

From akienm blogged:
1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

From Grief and not eating "Intellectually I know that he's actually getting all the nutrition he needs via tube and he has large reserves of fat." He's still getting most of his nutrition via tube and most of his fat reserves are gone. Yet he continues to grow. He gets stronger every day.

But to be honest, I still struggle with his eating issues. It doesn't loom as large as it did in May. I no longer fear that he wants to die. "But I still mourn the fact that he no longer breastfeeds." That's still true. But gradually my mourning became less constant. Like any type of loss, I became reminded less often.

And right now he's forcibly telling me that he's fiercely attached to me as he demands that I hold him while he goes to sleep. Gimpy as I am, I oblige. Though no standing and rocking today.

For the first time since he was born a year ago, Little T is off all medications and even supplements! He was even taken off Poly-vi-sol yesterday. I'm so proud of him.

Perhaps related, since we took him off Prilosec, he suddenly started eating solid foods like a normal 1 year old. He grabs little bits of food and puts them into his mouth, then he takes a small bite and swallows it. He pulls out the food, then starts over again. He doesn't gag or throw up anymore. He hasn't thrown up once since we stopped Prilosec. Well except when Special K climbed into his crib and gave him a plastic letter which he tried to eat.

He still eats very little, but we're all just stunned. Just three weeks ago, we thought he'd still need months of feeding therapy. After a couple months of therapy, he could put a Cheerio in his mouth and mash it down, but when he tried to swallow it, he'd gag and then vomit. Now he can eat bits of chicken, strawberry, whatever he can lay his hands on. He swallows it down and it stays down.

And I just realised he has a pincer grasp. How exciting!

Little T ripped off his Broviac dressing and his NG tube this morning. We all loved seeing his sweet face without tape today. And we're proud of his fine motor skills and wiliness. But tonight, how he howled with outrage when C put it back in!

What's the most annoying thing you've ever had on your body and how did you cope?

Little T ate 5 oz today, a new record since the NG tube. Still far short of what he needs to eat, but the zinc still has two more weeks to work its magic.

Special K ripped off her clothes and spent most of the day naked. She had a couple accidents. She still lacks enough body awareness to potty train, but she's getting there.