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This morning Little T's teacher called and said that Little T's left arm was red swollen and felt hot. This teacher is always matter of fact and patient and delivered this news calmly but she called first thing.

I called Hematology and told his doctor the news. I said I'd bring him in if the teacher's description was correct. I hoped anyway that somehow it was Opposite day and the teacher was exaggerating. But no Little T had hot sausage arm. And was fussy in that way he has when arm hurts.

The Hemo doctor wanted to rule out a fracture and so his arm was x-rayed. I have never hoped for a fracture before but I did and knew it was futile. Bone structure is fine. Swelling looks like blood vessels. A pause as the doctor tries to hope too.

The swelling and redness looks all too horribly familiar. The start of Kasabach Merritt Syndrome again. It's too early to say for sure and nothing is being done. Well okay another MRA which means another round of anesthesia. Seeing him go under is a terror that never dulls.

But back to the Hemo clinic where now Little T can play the Ninetendo. Kinda. Hermione was there and was helpful. I want to whine that Hermione was supposed to make things better. My magical companion.

I said at the Hemo clinic "I have a bad feeling about this." I still do. I want desperately to be wrong...for once.

We take photos of his left arm. Another familiar thing which we will go back to doing everyday. New twist is now Little T hates it and protests.

I want to shout "Can't the kid grow and not have this red monster grow too?" I want to cry but I don't because that would confirm my worst fears.

So let's have it be Opposite Day where I'm wrong and everything will be just fine. I hold on to that hope.

And new thing. We will now all go for walk with Hermione. Maybe that will be the spell that will break the red monster's hold. His arm grows slightly cooler and I hope and then heats up again. Walk to cool down. A walking spell. A walking meditation. It's all I have new. That and cod liver oil imported from Norway which he asked for yesterday. It must be new and different. Not the same.

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Comments

( 7 notes — Leave a note )
tavella
Mar. 26th, 2008 01:42 am (UTC)
Oh, damn, that's unfortunate to hear. I'll wish for the best.
brighid0704
Mar. 26th, 2008 02:24 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear about this. I really hope he'll be okay.
emerge
Mar. 26th, 2008 02:52 am (UTC)
(((HUG))). Not again. I'm so sorry to hear about this frustrating turn and will keep you guys in my best thoughts. You're in the light!!! Keep us posted. XOXO.
poets_hand
Mar. 26th, 2008 02:58 am (UTC)
***hugs my friend***
frumiousb
Mar. 26th, 2008 05:23 am (UTC)
Oh, that's a shame. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers.
batshua
Mar. 26th, 2008 06:20 am (UTC)
Many, many, many hugs.

I will do my best to keep him in mind at candles.
porfinn
Mar. 26th, 2008 09:27 pm (UTC)
Good luck. Best wishes. All that sort thing that really doesn't do much, but I truly wish it did! I will think many good thoughts. Stroke your puppy, sometimes just being in a furry moment can be very soothing.
( 7 notes — Leave a note )

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