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Two's Enough, Three's a Crowd of Kids

I spent Saturday and Sunday morning alone with Little T. C and Special K went on their annual camping trip with some other families from our playgroup. We all had a lovely mellow time. Little T basked in all the mommy attention and smiled and laughed most of the time. Even at bedtime, his fussiest time he didn't cry, too bemused at the novelty of having his mommy put him to bed. C and Special K hung out and played with all the other families.

I really enjoy being able to spend time alone separately with each child. I spend time with Special K every day when Little T takes his nap and Little T gets his time when Special K goes to preschool. I like how C and I can take one child or take both children.

I'd been feeling vaguely wistful that a friend of mine was pregnant with her third child. Before we had any kids, C and I had originally planned to have three children. Then after Special K was born, I wanted one and C talked me into two. But the mystery third beckoned. I wondered what a third would look like. I still thought having a third seemed crazy with all Little T's medical needs, but that reason always seems lame. Not to have a child because your second child is so demanding is not a satisfying reason. It doesn't give me the sense of completeness I need to say "We're done."

But this weekend gave me a sense of peace. I love my family the way it is. We have four different but compatible personalities. Fortunately C and my complementary personalities combined to produce siblings that not only get along for the most part, but seem to genuinely like each other. The mystery third's personality could shake things up. Three or five's an odd number that leaves one out and we're definitely not having four. So we're done. As we say at Bryn Mawr, "done is good." Are you happy with the number of kids you have now? Why or why not?

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( 6 notes — Leave a note )
poets_hand
Jun. 26th, 2006 10:32 pm (UTC)
I felt the same way. I love children, and always pictured myself having a lot, until I didn't have my first one until I was 32, and my next at 34, and now two just feels perfect. I could have had one more, but my husband didn't want to, which is fine with me. Now that I'm in school, working, and taking care of the kids, all with bipolar II, two feels comfortable and manageable.
waterowl
Jun. 27th, 2006 11:34 pm (UTC)
I'm glad two also works for you too!
chamois_shimi
Jul. 5th, 2006 10:59 pm (UTC)
K (my husband goes by Special K!) and I just have the one child atm- he's almost 4 months old. Pleasepleaseplease no more for a little while yet, but we plan on either 1 or 2 more.
chamois_shimi
Jul. 5th, 2006 11:02 pm (UTC)
My brain is to let today. The whys and wherefores- neither of us want an only child, we're both the elder of two and feel that it's much better than being an only. We think three would be a nice number too, but 4 kids just sounds like way way too many.

Sometimes I fret about overpopulation and having kids but well, my dad's sister never had kids so I figure we're just taking up her slot. ;) We theoretically wouldn't have minded adopting, but it's bloody expensive and our health insurance doesn't cover that like it does childbirth. :P
waterowl
Jul. 10th, 2006 02:31 am (UTC)
That's funny that he has the same name! Welcome! Are you a current or former PernMUSHer?
chamois_shimi
Jul. 10th, 2006 05:47 pm (UTC)
Former, now! I was still technically logging in until about halfway through being pregnant, but hadn't RP'd in ages and ages. Between utter lack of energy and then utter lack of sleep, time, brainpower and energy after C was born... yeah, I think I'm probably better off not logging in. I've got so many other things to do!
( 6 notes — Leave a note )